Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Kids watching Daddy play a video game

Crazy Daughter helping Big Guy put together an Indiana Jones Lego's set I got him

Little Man and big Guy watching TV

Okay, I've finally gotten some time to write, we've been busy running around, cleaning, moving furniture, and just being a family. He's fixed his car already, it runs now, so he's able to drive his own car. He's been fixing things around the house, little things that I couldn't get to stay on (like the panel on the bottom of the stove to stay on) and the bathroom shower fixture that was threatening to break. You know stupid things that I was to busy with other things to bother with.

And he's back to work, well half days doing all sorts of family reintegration classes and medical screenings.

Things have been going really well for him and I. Computer time has lessened for the both of us, and he's really being patient with the kids and spending quality time with them. They of course have him wrapped around their finger. We were at T@rget last night and the kids saw a Thom@s the Train bed set and a Princess sheet set, and of course they got all happy. I just turned to walk away, of course I've dealt with their wants before. But he happily went over and got them their new toys. I don't mind though, it brought a smile to his face.

So for now, that's about it, thanks for all the support, things are going really well. We have our vacation to New York City all planned out and I'm sooooo excited about it. :)

Friday, April 11, 2008

He's Home

He got home 3:30 AM Friday morning, he caught a ride with a friend so we wouldn't have to wake the kids so early.

And today he's started fixing things, things that have been lying undone for awhile now. lol Didn't take him all that long really. But more importantly he got his Jeep running, so now we are no longer relying on just my car.

But tonight we have a military group meeting at church, and Big Guy is taking Crazy Daughter bowling, that's all she can talk about right now.

Thanks for all the good wishes, I'll write more later, when I can.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

5 PM on Saturday night, stomach flu. Oh the fun
And on other news, ok, so not wordless wednesday, I'm still waiting for work from Rear-Detachment about news of my husband. I know for a fact he's in Kuawaitt and is/was supposed to flying out today, but I've heard nothing. And I'm a bit frustrated, our frg has told us next to nothing, all the information I've gotten has been from Big Guy. So supposedly I'm supposed to pick him up tomorrow, but couldn't tell you when, he said he'd be okay to walk hom, "It's not that far from the hill to home", and I guess in combat terms, a mile really isn't that far to walk.
But soon, just a bit frustrated and anxious.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

No Energy

Well the day is almost over, it's 9:30 PM, one kid is asleep and I am praying the other will soon be. And I'm sitting here, in front of the computer feeling like a deflated balloon. Parenting my kids this week has been difficult at best and then the times like these, when Crazy Daughter is constantly getting up and out of bed, I feel like I'm going to drive myself to the hospital's psyche ward.

And to top it all off, my vacuum cleaner won't suck anymore. I'm trying to clean the house for Big Guy to come home to, and I can't vacuum up the dirt. At some point you just have to curl up in a ball and laugh. At least dirt is better than sand right. Sigh.

But other than the cleaning, I believe we are ready to have him home, I bought some Mt. Dew (the unofficial drink of the Army), chips, salsa, and a myrraid of other assorted food items that I don't normally eat. In fact, I haven't bought soda since he left, over a year ago.

But I'm trying to stay busy, to keep my mind preoccupied on other things. Tomorrow night our church is having a dinner and singing group. It probably won't be my cup of tea singing wise, but there will be plenty of hands there to hold my kids, and I won't have to cook dinner, that is always a plus.

And so, here's a picture of me and the kids, a friend just got some new camera equipment so I was volunteered to be her test subject. If only my daughter would have cooperated.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Random Things

Not much happening here this week. And in all honesty, I'm just trying to stay sane and not let the kids get on my nerves. It's an incrediably short time till my husband comes home, Can't say just when, but soon.

And the saddest news of all, on March 29th, when the guys should have been at the FOB packing up, their Comander sent Alpha company out on patrol. Two guys were killed in action and two were critically injured. It makes me incrediably sad and honestly upset that this far into things, our men were killed. Their replacements are there, yet ...

So for now, my emotions are running the gammet, I'm scared, terrified, hopful, longing and just wish this deployment would be over.

And other randomness...

You Are Fairly Normal
You scored 70% normal on this quiz

Like most people you are normal in some ways...
But you aren't a completely normal person. You're a little weird too!

Why You Are Normal:

You eat the frosting first

You prefer a good meal to a good nap

You find the Macarena to be the more embarrassing dance

You prefer fiction to non fiction

You would rather be pale than tan

Why You Aren't Normal:

If given the choice, you would choose to have more time over more money

You would not eat meat from a cloned animal

You rather screw someone over than be screwed over

You are no longer with your first love

You prefer flat potato chips.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

When yogurt is used as a hair gel

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Spring Break

Ally with her bear family
Ally taking Little Man's picture

Spring Break is over, well it will be on Monday when all the kids have to head back to their respective schools. Even though my kids are not in school quite yet, we've been affected, all, well most of our activities have been cancelled this week. No play group, no PWOC on Tuesday morning, and no Awana on Wednesday nights, it's been a bit disruptive, our schedule has been off. But come Monday, things will be back to normal.

I remember back when I was younger, Spring Break held such wonder and excitement for me. I always prayed that it would be sunny and warm enough so I could wear shorts and try to tan my pale white legs. But as growing up in Michigan goes, it never did, it was always cool, and no spring.

And I never went to one of those wild spring break places, I'm glad since they seem to be all about drinking and partying. But in college I was always working, never had the time or the money for that matter to enjoy the week off.

So this week we spent quite a bit of our time outdoors, it was sunny, though a bit windy (living on the plains will do that). I've gotten to know some of my neighbors, yes I've lived here two years and don't know my neighbors all that well. I find it difficult to make friends.

But, let me just be honest, there is a whole lot of gossip going on amongst neighbors. And I'm not all that comfortable with it, I don't really want to know who is pregnant while their husband is away or who's having soldiers spend the night while their husband is deployed. So maybe this is why it took me so long to get out.


Crazy Daughter is sleeping so much better, though she's beginning to notice the crushed up Melatonin, I've told her it's sugar. Smart girl. So I am praying that this keeps up and I won't have to fight with her again.

Little Man is now not wanting my bed, he wakes up in the middle of the night, still not understanding that he can walk to my room and want to lay back down in his own bed. Though I still need to be in there until he falls asleep. But what an improvement two days can make.

Thanks for all your help and your comments.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Hallelujah She's Asleep

I want to say thank you for all your help with suggestions for my daughter. I wanted to get her up really early this morning, but I was tired. So we went to Wal-Fart and got some melatonin supplament , took out the lamp that was in her room for when she had her fear of the dark and put in three night lights.

We spent most of the day outside, so I don't know if it was the fresh air, allergies, running around or the melatonin I slipped into her milk, but she passed out on the floor at 7:40 PM this evening. I was overjoyed, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world, well almost.

Wether all these things will continue to work remains to be seen, but for now, I'm so excited. And what you ask will I be doing with my free time tonight? Why I'm going to bed, because my allergies have kicked in and I'm exhausted and have a sinus headache.

So goodnight to all, and happy dreams. And one final, Hallelujah, she's asleep.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Sleep, Daughter, Sleep

Okay folks, I am at my whits end with Crazy Daughter, it's 10:20 PM here, and my daughter is still not asleep. She went down at 8 PM, it's been two hours of her getting up with every request under the sun, countless changes of clothes, wanting her flip flops. I've taken away her privledges of watching Tom and Jerry cartoons (they are her absolute favorite) for tomorrow, and this last time I've threatened to take away the entire day of TV, and I'm so ready to do that.

I woke her up at 7:30 AM this morning, and yes that is early for her and no she's not a morning person. But what else can I do???? I can understand her being excited about her daddy coming home really soon but this is utterly rediculous and I am quickly loosing my patience.

Any suggestions? I mean, what else can I do?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Green Grass

The grass is starting to get green. This is a picture of my backyard, well ok, not my backyard, it's the side yard. My backyard is mud, pure churned up mud thanks to my dog runing and barking at the neighborhood kids.

I am looking forward towards spring, I am sick of all the colds and windy blustery days. I want spring.

Well that was one bright sunny spot on my day. Last night was a bit tiring, whatever headway we had made on the bedtime routein, was pretty much gone last night. Crazy Daughter was up countless times with every excuse you could think of, changed her clothes twice, lost her TV privledges for today with the exception of a two hour Tom and Jerry break. She didnt' go to bed until 11 PM, I believe I was frustrated beyond anything.

And despite headway in the not sleeping with mama, I got both the kids in with me about 3 AM. My alarm went off at 6, took my shower and then dried my hair, not really being careful about being quiet. And it worked, woke both the kids up, early for them, but gosh darn it, they are going to be tired for bed tonight.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy day to me

Today is my 7th wedding aniversary, so I thought I would enjoy looking at some photos of my wedding. I really can't believe it's been 7 years already.

Friends, Dragonfly is in the yellow
ok, let me say, we look so young
The girls. My sister is in the other yellow dress 7 months pregnant with her daughter.

And so despite it being St. Patrick's Day and my anniversary, it's really just a regular day for us here on the windy plain's of Kansas. Big Guy is still gone, but due back in a couple of week or so. So really nothing special today.
But on a positive note, Little Man slept in his own bed last night, all night long. Can you bleieve it!!!! The first time since December. Woo hoo.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

It's Huge

Okay, my newest crazy, spurr of the moment craft project is making a quilt for Crazy Daughter for when she gets her new Big Girl bed. She is currently in the futon right now but when we move to Texas (I dread thinking about that move) this summer we are going to get her a real bed. I looked at comforters in the store and they were crazy expensive and cheesy if you ask me. So why not, I've made one before, no big deal.

BTW, the one I made before was a lap quilt, my Mom and I took an Amish Quilt class and everything was done by hand as the Amish would do.

So I found a pattern that said it was super easy, all you needed to get for the front of the quilt was 20 1/4 yard blocks. I found some remnant fabric cheap so yeah, goody I'm on my way. Let me tell you all, I should have looked at the measurements before deciding on the "Twin" quilt.

It fits my bed, well a bit shorter than I would like and I'd be fighting for the covers if my husband were home. But it's huge. This was supposed to be for a twin bed, not anything bigger. Holy cow, now I've got the front part done, but I'm going to get material for the backing so I can start quilting. I guess this can be an heirloom she keeps forever right. lol

Me and my big ideas.
I know this picture doesn't do it justice, but it's hard to get the size and the detail of the fabric. Nothing really coordinates, but I like the crazy quilt style.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Perfection... Honestly what could be better to find in your living room couch.

We are finally starting to feel human, it's been a long week of sickness, coughing and going through at least two Kleenex boxes and counting. Crazy Daughter has been staying in her own bed the past couple of nights, but Little Man, we are still working on it.

I had an epiphany this week, I've started putting the kids to bed at the same time. What took me so long really, I don't know. But since Little Man is now in a toddler bed, it just seemed easier than waiting for him to sleep and then putting Crazy Daughter down.

Our routine, Pj's, TV off, reading books, brushing teeth, Potty (and Little Man has been using it sooo much more lately!!!!), collecting assorted blankets and stuffed animals and getting rooms ready for night time. Kids give each other hugs and kisses, Crazy Daughter in her bed, and then I sit in the rocker in Little Man's room with the door open and wait for the quiet.

I really don't know why I haven't done this sooner, but it's really working, even when Crazy Daughter gets up, Little Man doesn't pitch a fit and start crying, he knows I'll be back.

So I'm breathing a sigh of relief, bedtime is becoming a routine, as it should be. I just hope it stays this way when Big Guy gets home.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Not Yet Dead

Not Yet Dead is the way I'm feeling right about now. And yes I've been singing this song in my head all morning. This cold is really kicking our rear ends this week. Since Tuesday we've not been out of the house but once to get some more cold medicine. And the house looks like it too, the living room is full of toys that haven't been picked up, the dishes are piling up and the laundry, *sigh*, the laundry is becoming ridiculous there is so much to do.

Crazy Daughter has had a fever on and off, off right now, but now she's got a wicked cough and runny nose. Little Mister has been so congested he's been fussy at night. And for the past week, they've both climbed into bed with me and hacked all night long.

And I've been hit the hardest I think, my throat feels so raw, my nose is red from blowing, and I'm almost out of the cold medicine. Not to mention the sinus headache that has been plaguing me this week.

OK, enough of me complaining. This too shall pass, sooner rather than later I hope.

I'm not sure if March is dragging by or moving quickly, but we're expecting Big Guy home the beginning of April. Crazy Daughter has started a list of what she wants her daddy to do when he gets home, take a walk on the trails, get her dolly that's behind the entertainment center, fix a mired of things. It's cute really.

And I have something I'd like to say, if you all could keep Dragonfly in your prayers. She's going through a lot right now, being sick and preparing for The Sgt's deployment soon. It doesn't seem to matter what number deployment it is, it's always difficult each and every time.

And so here's to hoping we can make it to church tomorrow morning, not only do we have to contend with getting ready and out of bed, but the time changes tomorrow too. at least it will be lighter later in the day.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


Well, whatever has been going around, we finally got hit with today. Little Man has had a fever on and off, but I just associated it with teething, he has molars coming in. But Crazy Daughter woke up this morning with a burning fever. All day she laid on the couch, and as some of you may have guessed, that is just not normal for her. Any time she's not moving, it's not normal. And I've managed to slip some liquid pain meds into her juice, it's easier than fighting with her to open her mouth. And I've been hit with digestive issues, constantly running to the bathroom (we'll leave it at that).

Big Guy, despite him being across the pond, has been hit with health issues, he has an ulcer in the eye. Sounds gross doesn't it? Basically it's just a hole in the cornea from where something irritated it. At first they told him he was going to have surgery, but now they've given him drops and it's already improved 50%. So for the rest of March till they leave for Kuwait, he'll be sitting his room at the FOB (forward operating base), being bored out of his mind because he's already shipped back everything.

Tuesday is one of our busy days, and instead we just all laid about watching Tom and Jerry cartoons, drinking lots of liquids and sleeping when the need hit.

On the upside, I've switched the rooms around, I've taken the suggestion of putting Little Man into a toddler bed. And currently he's asleep in it, progress, but we'll see once 1 or 2 AM hits. And though he won't go to bed by himself, yet, all I have to do it sit in the rocking chair with my Ipod on and eventually he goes out.

And though I would love to stay up and think of more things to talk about, my headache just won't let me. We'll see how tomorrow goes, we do need to get out, we're out of Tylenol.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Firsts Meme

This is a meme of Firsts from My Semblance of Sanity . Had fun thinking of my firsts.

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Well my date, nope didn’t have a date for either of the two. My senior year I went with my three friends. Much better than going with a date.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Nope, don’t see him, don’t talk to him, rather forget he existed. It wasn’t a happy ending for us.

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
Probably something like Mike’s Hard Lemonade. I’m into the fru-fru drinks, not into that hard liquor stuff.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Well probably babysitting, but my first real job was working at Studio 28 working the concessions stand. What was really great was I got two free tickets to any movie I wanted to see and 1$ popcorn combo each time. My friends also loved me too, I went to so many movies that year.

5. What was your FIRST car?
Well the first real one I bought was a red 1995 Chevy Corsica, I got this my first year in college after the exhaust system fell off my old blue Junker, while I was driving on the highway. Man that was a lousy car, it had a sunroof and I had to duct tape it shut, it leaked. That red car was great, had it for nearly 7 years before we sold it.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
The only person who would isn’t here, and that would be my husband.

7. Who was the FIRST person I thought of this morning?
Probably my kids, praying that they would stay asleep.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. McKeller, I don't remember much, but I remember thinking on the first day, when I was told I was going to be there all day long, I literally thought, we're eating dinner here too?

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
I was two years old, flying from Florida to Michigan with my grandma after my mom gave birth to my sister. We were moving back home.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?
Dragonfly, we’ve known each other since kindergarten, and lived less than a mile away from each other. And we’re more like sisters than friends now, kept close through college and now through military moves.

11. What was your FIRST sport played?
Gymnastics, my parents have pictures of me, I believe I was 3, walking on the balance beam. Long hair in ponytails, concentrating so hard on not falling. Only did that for a couple of years, not very athletically inclined.

12. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Probably my cousins house in Port Huron, we were always driving the three hours to visit my mom’s family. My sister and I were in awe of them, A & D were older, dressed nicer, and were able to watch things we weren’t allowed to watch. Though we were never as close as we could have been, I guess that’s what living three hours away does to you.

13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Well do you have to move your lips? I got up before the kids so I talked to my hubby online this morning.

14. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
My high school friend’s in 1997, we had these horrid satin pink dresses with dye able pink heeled shoes to match. Oh yeah, it also had a butt bow. That was one ugly dress.

15. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Push the button on the coffee pot to make coffee. Then turned on the computer.

16. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Okay, the first one I have memory of, DC Talk & Michael W Smith. I went with Dragonfly and a couple of other friends. Her mom, Crazy Grandma J drove us all in a large van with blankets in the back. Come to think of it, that’s probably illegal now. We had an awesome time, of course we were in the nose bleed seats.

17. FIRST tattoo or piercing?
Got my ears pierced when I was 8, second hole when I was in high school. My first tattoo when I was, well in my 20’s March of 2006. Second Tattoo one year later.

18. FIRST foreign country you went to?
Yes, this is sooo exciting, (scarcasm). Canada. My Grandma B took my sister and I and our other cousin Bradly when we were 10 or so. The Blue Water Bridge is in Port Huron, so just a stones throw across the river. But honestly there’s not much to do over there.

19. What was your FIRST run in with the law?
May 2005 when we were driving from Tennessee back home to Texas. We had been driving all night long It was about 3AM and at night in Texas the speed limit drops from 70 to 65, I guess I had “forgotten” to drop my speed. Got pulled over and was given a warning. I believe I pulled the we were coming home from block leave after my hubby returned from his 1st tour in Iraq.

20. When was your FIRST detention?
Never had detention, I was a good girl.

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?
Michigan, cold boring Michigan.

22. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart?
That would be the same guy who was my first love, Jonathan. We dated in college for two and a half years.

23. Who was your FIRST roommate?
I lived in the dorms for one whole semester, had a roommate, Amy. She was a slob, I thought I was messy, I hold nothing on this girl. Left dirty dishes EVERYWHERE. Her closet, which she had two by the way, was literally overflowing with clothes and other stuff she was hiding. After that semester, I moved home and became a commuter student. Amy failed out of that semester of college and didn’t come back.

24. Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride?
Ok, this may be sad, but my first limo ride was last July at a Stampin Up convention (I’m a demonstrator). It was raining HARD, and we had to travel to a hotel with our projects, they had to stay dry. So the bellhop got us a cab for a two minute drive to the neighboring hotel. He didn’t even charge us for the ride, but we tipped him anyways.

Horrid Night of Sleep

I had a horrible night last night, and I’m sitting here typing this, I just feel really down and depressed and would just like to cry really.

Little Man had a fever from teething, so he just wouldn’t go down in his own bed, frustrating and I’m just at the end of my rope dealing with this not sleeping in bed thing. So I just lay him down in Mommy’s bed and he goes to sleep on his own. Which brings up another issue, do we take him out of his crib now or wait until after we move to Texas? Would he sleep in his own room just in a big bed?

But go out to Crazy Daughter, we read some books and then we brush our teeth, we can’t go into my bathroom because of Little Man, so we use the other bathroom, and of course Crazy Daughter notices Little Man is in Mommy’s bed. Crazy Daughter just doesn’t go to bed; I lay down with her, on her tiny toddler bed and still no falling asleep. So I tell her (I’m such a pushover) if she goes into mommy’s bed to sleep mommy is going to sleep in the living room on the couch. Honestly I just can’t sleep with the two of them.

Jump to 11:30 PM, after countless times of getting up she finally wakes up Little Man. I’m of course, beyond upset now, I’m tired, and I am beginning to understand what those mothers feel when they want to hurt their children. I lay down at the end of the bed and after much moving around, they fall back asleep. And I sleep at the tiny edge of the bed, being kicked by my daughter. Not a good night of sleep at all.

My alarm goes off at 6 AM and I just want to get out of bed and have my coffee and spend some time praying, to get my attitude set for the day. But honestly I just want to crawl back into bed, my own bed, with no kids, and cry myself to sleep.

Big Guy is online but he’s preparing to go on a mission tonight, so he’s in that “mode” not really talking, just there online. And honestly would I want him any other way right now? He does need to be prepared to go out on the streets of Iraq, where bad guys want to hurt him. So I’ve told him what happened last night, but I haven’t related how I’m feeling.

It’s funny, after nearly a year on being on antidepressants; you would think my depression would be gone. I’ve been in counseling, life actually has been better, it’s just we are nearing the end of the deployment. I am so done being the single parent, dealing with these kids every day, day in and day out. I want him home, I want him to be the dad and take some responsibility and help with the kids, help with the housework. And I guess I’m frightened that when he does come home, he won’t. I mean let’s face it, he is going to be dealing with a lot, being gone a year and coming back to a house that has changed, kids have grown up, and a wife who has changed and won’t deal with the same crap as she would have before he left. It’s got to be difficult on them too.

So maybe I’m stressing over the whole process, dealing with living together again. Not to mention working on the whole pain, crap, that has become our marriage. Learning to trust again and him learning to be trustworthy again. It’s a lot of pressure, on both of us.
So that’s what is going through my head this morning. I’m drinking lots of coffee, trying to deal with the major lack of sleep from last night. Praying and getting back in line with God so this day will be better than last night.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Music and Memmories

I was listening to the radio yesterday and a song came on that I hadn’t heard in years. Go West Young Man, by Michael W. Smith, it brought me back to my thirteenth birthday party where I received the tape as a present. For some reason, that song will forever be linked to that period in my life; sleeping outdoors in a tent with 5 or so other girls, playing poker with candy and then the candy wrappers. It got me thinking, what other songs have a vivid memory. So here’s my list.

Go West Young Man, Michael W. Smith. 13th birthday party.

Love Shack, B 52’s. I know that sometimes this song is overplayed, but this clearly brings back senior prom, 1996. I went with my friends Dragonfly, and two others (I can’t come up with any cute aliases right now, and I don't remember who Happy, Sleepy and everyone was. Help me out dragonfly). We drew names to see who would buy who a corsage. And we danced all night long, caffeinated up on Squirt. When I hear that song, it brings me back to that night.

Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen. For two summers I worked up at our Church camp, cooking and cleaning. I really enjoyed the friends I made, though cleaning toilets during juniors week, boys should really learn to aim better. But when the guys and we girls went out in the church van, for whatever activity we had that night, we listened to a mix tape someone put together. And this song was one on there. When I hear it I’m instantly back in the van, driving down the bumpy dirt road, watching the guys go completely crazy with singing and air guitars.

Zombie, the Cranberries. This is a Princess Leia song, I believe we were in high school at the time (that would be about 94’ or so) driving in the car, singing our little hearts out. I had such a wonderful time in high school with my friends, such freedom, and looking back, such a short time it was.

Bullet with Butterfly Wings, the Smashing Pumpkins. It was my sophomore year of college in my American Literature class (modern literature I think) that my professor Dr. Stevens gave us a list of songs and the lyrics, to write a short paper on. He had U2 (his favorite band and always incorporated the lyrics into his lectures) Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, and a couple of others. This is the song I choose based solely on the lyrics. I hadn’t heard the song before, but the words were quite interesting to me.

I know there could be more, but can’t think of many right now. So please give me yours. I would love to hear all your stories.

Crazy Daughter's World

Self portriate
Mommy's Making me a dress
My brother
my mommy
Okay, this one I took, but isn't my little man precious.
Life is busy this week, it's always the begning of the week that is crazy. But time goes by quickly when your busy, right? So I only have to make it through march and a bit of April before Big Guy comes home.
How is your week been going?

Friday, February 22, 2008


I've been thinking about this for the past couple of weeks now. I am sitting here in my living room with my son on my lap, watching cartoons and blogging. And what do I hear outside, artillery booms from the range somewhere nearby. And this is normal for us. Sometimes the blasts are so powerful they shake the windows.

Is is strange that I pay no mind to gun blasts anymore, lol.

So what is normal for you? Love to hear your comments.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Sooo Tired

It seems that this entire week, I have just been dragging, exhausted, tired and whatever other adjective you can use. I don't remember if I have been saying anything about getting my kids to sleep in their own beds. The past couple of weeks, they have been waking up and climbing into bed with me. Little Man of course, still being in his crib, just won't go back to sleep in his own bed. I sit and cuddle with him, he seems to relax and I go to lay him down, and he wakes up. As many as four times in one night.

So last night we got back from Awana, get the kids ready for bed, and lay ean down, supposdely sleeping, and five minutes later he starts crying. Okay no problem right, just let him cry for a bit and he'll eventually calm down. 45 minutes later he's still going at it, it's nearing 10:30 and Crazy Daughter hasn't gone down yet. I'm near tears, so I just bring them all into my bed.

I think I got the worse night of sleep in my life. They don't do well sleeping together, laughed and talked till nearly 11:30. Around 2, I've finally had it with the kicking, the cuddling up to me that I head into the living room to sleep on the couch.

And the result of that wonderful night of restless sleep, I'm cranky, I'm exhausted, and it seems I am being a bad mother today. The kids are as tired as me, Crazy Daughter has had at least 3 episodes of temper tantrums. And it's only 2 PM.

Is there anyone out there who has dealt with this kid issue of wanting to sleep with you. Big Guy comes home mid April and sleeping in our bed isn't going to be an option. And it seems the less sleep I get at night, the more cranky I get during the day, which makes the next night even more stressful to get them to sleep. Any suggestions.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Fun, Fablous, Fantastic, Freaking Fantablous Friday

I'm in an extremely silly mood today, it has to do with the lack of sleep I am expierencing this week. I am trying to reteach my kids that they have to sleep in their own beds. We've all gotten into the bad habbit of coming in with mama in the middle of the night. I'm so over that.

But... Back to the fun Friday. You know you are going to have a fun, fablous, fantastic, friday when you hear this.

"Mama, Little Man made a poopy in the bathtub"

Oh the fun of finding a brown turd floating in the bathtub mixing in with the kids and all their bath toys. Yep, a wonderful day today.

Monday, February 11, 2008

My Date

Today was Monday (just in case you've forgotten what day it is) and Crazy Daughter had playgroup. So Little Man and I had a date. We normally go to W@l-m@rt, and get some groceries, but I'm sick of that store and so we went to T@rget.

My little boy is so different when he isn't with his sister, so inquistative, quiet, full of wonder as we walked down the toy isle. We were looking for a present for Big Guy, he'll be home sooner than I know it and I want to have something for him to do that first night. Because of the time change, I know he'll be awake late into the evening. I had been seeing commercials (thanks to all the kid shows we watch) for the new Indiana Jones Legos, Big Guy loves Indi and is super excited abou the new movie coming out. So we got the new Legos Indi set. Hope he likes it.

But we took our time meandering through the isles, he got all excited when we walked by the movie isle and he saw a Tom @ Jerry cartoon video. Not able to pry it from his tight little fists, I bought the 5.50$ movie.

The next stop on our date was a short drive over to P@ner@ Bread, I got all excited getting out of the car, walked over to the bakery case and started pointing to all the muffins and cookies. He picked out a rather large chocolate chip cookie, and I got my coffee and spinach and bacon souflee. We sat down and he started making eyes with an older couple the next table over. He makes people smile so easily, it just warms my heart.

But as all things have to end, so too did our date. We got back in the car and headed back to town to pick up Crazy Daughter and life began normal again.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


Yes that is bread rising in my oven, six loafs and some rolls. I can't believe it myself, but I've started baking my own bread, this one is whole wheat and oatmeal. I'll start the oven in a couple of minutes so in about an hour I'll have fresh warm homemade bread. Who knew I could actually cook. lol

I've kind of got on this health kick, you know in that ever present battle to loose weight. So I've been watching my sugar contents and trying to eat more fresh things. Though I was thwarted by cookie dough.... Sunday at church they were having a fundraiser by selling cookie dough, so I bought two tubs, sugar cookie and chocolate chunk. And I broke down and made the sugar cookies on Sunday. Oh sooo good. Such weak will power.

It snowed last night, oh, about a foot of the cold white stuff on the ground. You know when we were kids, snow had such a different feel. I mean this, we didn't have any of the responsibilites as we do now, as adults. I shovelled, I am grateful I actually bought one this year. For 30 minutes I heaved the cold white stuff, such a not fun expierence. Cursing the driveway and it's slope and it's legenth. Why did we have to get such a long driveway? I guess that is one thing about Texas I will be grateful for, no snow.

Okay, I'm off to bake my bread, yumm, fresh warm bread and strawberry jelly. I'm in heaven right now.

Monday, February 4, 2008

6 AM

Ok, so my alarm went off at 6 am this morning, and I actually got up. Okay well I hit the snooze button only once. But I am actually enjoying getting up before the flurry of kids and activities in the morning.

And let me point out right here, I am not a morning person, not by any stretch of the imagination. I enjoy sleeping in, I was a great sleeper in college, sleeping till nearly 10 or eleven on the weekends. I aparently get grumpy (so friends and family tell me) when I get tired, so intrupting my beauty sleep to get things done in the morning is shocking my friends and family.

So here's a list of the things accomplished between 6 (okay 6:10) and 7 this morning.

  • Started a load of laundry
  • made coffee
  • Wrote 3 cards to various family that I have been putting off for awhile now
  • Got a box to mail out to Dragonfly, complete with the customs form
  • Balanced checkbook
  • Went through a stack of papers on my desk and sorted them. Filled the bills.
  • Enjoyed my coffee and cereal
  • Wrote out grocery list for trip to grocery store
  • Listened to Evanescence without the sound of cartoons or running kids in the background.

Pretty darn good, huh. So I guess my sacrifice of sleep is paying off in being more organized and maybe a bit more sane throughout the day. I'm not sure about getting up at 5, which was my origional goal, so I could exercise. But I'll stick with this 6 thing. I do so love the quiet.

Saturday, February 2, 2008


I got a letter from the Commander about when to expect Big Guy to come home. The 6th of February will be one year from the day he left. It's hard to believe that a year has gone by without him.

So mid April is when I'm supposed to expect him, I haven't heard anything from our FRG (family readiness group) but I have up on expecting any real information long ago. We'll get a call 24 to 48 hours ahead of when to expect them.

So I finish reading the letter and my stomach has that feeling, oh how to describe it, like I've just been given bad news. Now don't get me wrong, I do want to have him home, the kids miss him awfully bad.

But in his absence, we have a routein, we are comfortable with the way things are. Granted I get driven insane most days, but I know what to expect when the morning arrives. That will all change when he gets home.

Change, I hate change. You would think an army spouse would be used to change seeing as we've moved quite a bit. And the only constant thing in the army is change. But this time, him coming home is more difficult than the last one.

Now we will have to live together, and deal with the whole past year, two years of hurt and pain. When he left we didn't leave our marriage in the greatest of shape. Now we will come back together two really changed people, and really have to get to know each other once again. I guess the uncertainity of the future is scary, not knowing how our lives will turn out, is frightening.

But he's coming home and life will begin again.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Two Things Meme

I read Wherever Ewe Go's post today and it was a meme of two things. So here's mine.

1. Two names you go by:
Shelly and Mama. Shelly isn't my real name, it's a name given to me by Dragonfly in high school and has stuck ever since.
2. Two things you are wearing right now:
Yellow stripped flannel pants (because at 6 am, it's cold in the living room) and a sweater I grabbed from my bedroom as I staggered out of bed this morning.
3. Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship:
Trust and friendship. Without those two, do we really have a chance to make our marriage work?
4. Two of your favorite things to do:
Shop without KIDS, alone with a friend perferably, oh and of course have money to spend. Spend time with my friends, unfortunately both live so far away right now. Grrr... Dragonfly you had to move to Germany. (love you :)
5. Two things you want very badly at the moment:
Slippers, my feet are cold. No seriously, an afternoon at a bookstore, a large bookstore, with no crazy children running around or a husband saying are you ready to leave yet? But I'll settle for a clean house, could you send the cleaning fairy this way??
6. Two pets you have/had:
We had a dog name Buffy (seriously, that was his name. We never changed it) in elementary school. He kept running away though and making messes in other people's yards, so we had to get rid of him. And our dog here, Holley or as I like to call her, Crazy barkey dog. We got her the summer before Big Guy went to boot camp so I wouldn't be so lonely. I love her to death, if only she wouln't bark to much.
7. Two people you think will fill this out:
Well..... hopefully someone will...
8. Two things that you did last night:
Surffed the internet and listened to music. Last night it was Fuel. Good band, really like them. And did bills, oh the joy and fun in that.
9. Two things you ate today:
Still haven't eaten yet today, it's only 6:30 am. But I intend to eat a slice of homemade bread with strawberry jelly and coffee. Yummm...
10. Two people you last talked to:
Well actually talked to, my mom, I miss her and wish we wern't so far away. And my friend Sunshine (not her real name, but she's alwasy upbeat and happy). Her little boy probably has a cataract on his left eye, and has probably been there since birth (he's 2) and even if they remove it may not see out of his left eye. Yet despite all that, all the worries and fears, she has such a positive attituide. Such an example for me.
11. Two things you're doing tomorrow:
Well it's Saturday tomorrow, we need to get some hand soap for Dragonfly, and since I really don't want to go to the grocery store (the stupid Superbowl is Sunday and it will be mass and utter chaos there) we'll probably go to the mall. And not much else, we don't lead such an exciting life.
12. Two longest car rides:
Driving from Michigan to Texas with an infant, dog, hauling a U-Haul trailer filled with Christmas presents because in-laws always over buy for the kids. But it was okay, because I had my friend with me. Thanks for keeping me sane on that trip, Dragonfly. And lots of other long car rides to Michigan to visit family, driving is such a common thing for me these days.
13. Two favorite holidays:
Christmas, not because we get all this stuff, but because I am usually with family and friends. It's one of the few times each year we are all able to get together, friends and family. Though, it's tough dealing with sleeping arrangements (kids sleeping in with me, sleeping on couches, etc.) but at least I have a loving and supportive family.
Halloween, because I get to make a costume for my kids. It also gives me a reason to get dressed up too. I love to sew fun things, and any reason to make a princess dress for my daughter is reason to celebrate.
14. Two favorite beverages:
Coffee, I have just recently become a coffee addict, I'll blame my father for that one. I got my nice coffee grinder and coffee pot for Christmas a year ago. What would I do without my morning coffee.... And raspberry lemonade Crystal Lite, I've given up soda, so my alternative is a low calorie, sugar free drink. And I love the little water bottle packets they make now, great way to spice up boring water.
15. Two people no longer alive who you'd like to talk to:
My Grandpa Young, he died when I was in college and I don't think I ever really got to know him. He was such a stoic man, kept to himself much of the time and very independent. I would love to talk to him about his childhood and his time over in WWII.
Princess Leia's nephew, he died about 7 years ago of cancer. He was so young, maybe 5 or 6, but I would love to talk to him, to have him describe heaven for me, through a child's eyes.

And so that is my list, I'm glad I did it, you know there are just some things you don't think about every day, I like questions that make me think.

And now I'm off to make some of that coffee and toast, yummm. Before my little kiddos wake up and the day starts.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Through the eyes of a child

Pictures curtosy of my 4 year old daughter. Isn't it interesting on what captures their interest.
Thank you for all your comments about the "what not to say" post. And I think we do need to have a post that says "what to say". But give me a bit to think on that.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

What not to say...

to a deployed spouse.

I got this in my email from a friend today, she copied it from another blog. Sorry I don't know whose, would love to give her credit. I thought it fitting with Dragonfly's husband's upcoming deployment. I know that it is difficult to understand the military spouse, its a tough job.

(I didn't write this, but definitely agree!)

So, the other day I was talking with a friend whose husband is also currently deployed and we started talking about the most annoying things that usually well-meaning people say to us regarding deployments. We agreed that we are always polite in our responses and that we realize that the offending person usually had only the best of intentions. But here's what we came up with as the things we get asked or told that really make our skin crawl. They're not in any particular order. Feel free to add some of your own in the comments as you wish.

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on my "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds---but thanks, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)
2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
(Though this is really annoying, I feel bad about mentioning it because I know that it is intended to be a compliment. Still, it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked/told to take on a challenging job and we rose to the challenge.)
3. "At least he's not in Iraq."
(This is the number one most annoying comment for my friends whose husbands are in Afghanistan. As one friend put it, "What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? A huge game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there, too."
4. "Do you think he'll get to come home forChristmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of achild/wedding/family reunion, etc?"
(Don't you watch the news? No. They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don'task again.)
5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybethere's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meether. For the rest of us, those with and withoutchildren, we find ourselves having to be twopeople. That keeps us plenty busy. We do getlonely, but we don't get bored.)
6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
(This one is annoying to many of us whether ourhusbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because (gasp!) they love what they do.
7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
(Sure, we do learn coping skills. And we figureout ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets easy and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just becausethey've been there before. The worry never goesaway.)
8. "My husband had to go to Europe for businessonce for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip toLondon/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a one-year deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious trip length difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for comparing a combat deployment to a business trip.
9. "Don't you miss him?"
(Like number one, this one gets a big "duh" from me. Of course we miss our husbands. If we didn't, we'd get divorced.)
10. "Where is that?"
(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for six and a half years and at war in Iraq for four years. These basic facts are not secrets; they're on the news every night and in the papers every day ---and on maps everywhere. You've had time to learn it. Do your part by at least knowing what is going on.)

THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN SAY TO A WOMAN WHOSEHUSBANDS COMBAT TOUR HAS BEEN EXTENDED I'm updating my list of things not to say. Onceagain, feel free to add your own "don't says" in the comments.

1. "At least he's not in Iraq."
(Once again, this one tops my list. If you've just found out that your husband's 12-month tour is going to be more like 15, you really don't care where he's not. All you know is that he's not AT HOME. And, once again, they're not playing a huge game of croquet in Afghanistan. There's a big ugly war there, too.)
2. "Well, at least he'll still be home for Christmas/Easter/anniversary/birthday/familyreunion/football season."
(Right. Thanks. That's what I was worried about. Forget IED's, I've been staying up at night crying because I was afraid he might miss Granny's birthday. Whew. Thanks for putting my fears at ease.)
3. "That's not so bad - only five/six/seven/etc. months to go!"
(This is the one that women whowere within sight of the end of the year-long tour have to hear. Sure, maybe he'll be home bySeptember, but he was SUPPOSED to be home in MAY! This one is almost as bad as...
4. "...You've gone this long, what are a few more months?"
(Screw you. That's really the only response I can think of for that one. If it's not so bad, why don't you and your husband (or wife) switch places with us?)
5. "What are you going to tell the kids?"
(Idunno. Let me see what Dr. Spock suggests on this one. Wait, you mean he doesn't have a chapter titled "Mommy and Daddy Weren't Lying to You, I Promise," or, "Daddy's going to miss your birthday again this year." Not in the book? Well, I guess I'll just have to tell them the truth.)
6. "That is so unfair."
(Yes, it is. I'll be sure to alert the fairness police. Maybe they can file a report.)
7. "Can't they send someone else?"
(Hey, nowthere's a thought. Maybe we should send all those soldiers who've just been sitting around for the last six years polishing their weapons? Oh wait, there aren't any. Americans decided that this war was only the responsibility of the people who volunteered for the military and there just aren't enough volunteers. Wanna go see a recruiter?)
8. "At least he's still getting combat pay."
(Not much I can say to that besides that it makes me ill.)
9. "Oh, I hate that he's going to miss Cousin Katie's wedding."
(You have any idea how manysoldiers will be missing THEIR OWN weddingsbecause of tour extensions? Trust me, of all the things he's disappointed about, Cousin Katie'swedding hasn't even entered his mind. I hate that he's going to miss EVERY FREAKIN' THING that happens in our lives for three more months.)
10. "What will you do to stay busy until he gets home?"
(Let's see, I can spend hours on holdtrying to cancel the cruise that I booked for us and then more hours trying to wrestle the cruise company into giving us a refund. I can call allthe people who had planned to visit us and tellthem to postpone their trips. I can stay up atnight consoling kids who are too young tounderstand why their daddy still isn't home, and then stay up even later trying to console myself. And I can spend a few more hours waiting in line at the post office to send more care packages. I don't think I'll get bored.)
11. "OH that can't happen he needs to come home now"!
(What? Excuse me? Do you think we have that choice? This one might not be as common but this seams to come out of the mouth of my mother a lot.)
12. "I heard on the news that they are trying to get soldiers home early, I think he is going to be one of them, (or) do you think he will be one of them."
(Again, what? Excuse me? First of all don't believe anything you hear on the news, they only tell you what you want to hear. And no they aren't coming home early, they are on orders. If anything they will keep them there longer! STOP ASKING!!)

Friday, January 25, 2008

Stupid Things....

Stupid things I've done today.

  1. Take Cold Medicine. Now normally this isn't a dumb act on my part, but when I fail to read the box, yeah, that's stupid. Stupid generic cold medicine, whatever Little Man had, he kindly gave me. So I took some generic cold stuff I had and low and behold, I'm drowsy. It's generic Benedryl. Go figure.
  2. Fall Asleep. I fell asleep on the couch while Little Man took a nap, for two hours. Not smart. I wake up to this, she has completely changed her clothes, a plate with a half eaten bagel complete with grape jelly (the jar is completely empty), milk on the table and floor as she tried to poor herself a glass. Red construction paper cut into pieces, she was practicing her cutting skills.
  3. Leave candy where Crazy Daughter can get it. I bought some candy for Big Guy, I can only find it in Michigan, so I bought about five bags. We are now down to four bags. Oh tonight should be fun.

Its been a tough morning, Little Man has been cranky and whiny but really is feeling better. I think the Benedryl has left my system, I'm not so muddled. It can only get better, right.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Up on the Times....

You would think I would have found this out before today, but nope, I am not as computer savy as I would like to think I am. How many of you use google reader, how really neat and wonderful to check on things getting updated. And why haven't I found this before today. *Sigh* So hopefully now I'll be able to read more blogs, faster and easier.

Little Man is sick, he had a fever the past couple of nights, which meant, he was in bed with me. I really don't mind one of the kids in my bed, because they have their side and I have mine. But when both get in, I get no sleep at all.

So about 7 PM, both kids fall asleep on the couch, get Crazy Daughter in bed, keep Little Man out with me (because he's in that fitful sleep and won't go to sleep on his own). He and I head to bed around 9, really early for me, but I seem to have this premonition, it will be a fitful sleep for me.

2 AM..... Crazy Daughter's door opens, the hallway floods with light, mama I have to go potty. For the next hour she's up and down, using every possible excuse to get up, I need water, Where's my bear? I'm cold. So about 3 AM I said fine, just climb into bed. I believe we finally all fell asleep around 5 or so. And where did I sleep? I gave up and laid at the end of the bed with a pillow and blanket with my feet off the end.

I really need a good night of sleep, I need Crazy Daughter to sleep in her own bed. Maybe tonight.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

When it Rains....

Today it started pouring in my life. I know I haven't posted much this past week, writing makes me think and I didn't want to think about stuff yet. It's just been a depressing week, nothing happened, just reality starting to come on home.

Big Guy is coming home in about three months, don't get me wrong, I am happy to see him come home. But I am also nervous about living with him again, by April we'll not have seen each other for a year. I've gained so much independence from this deployment, and I've done quite a bit of growing, personally. Let me just say that his past year, our marriage has hit rock bottom, if it wasn't for the grace of God, I wouldn't be married today. So I'm nervous about our future.

And today... My in-laws are flying down from Michigan on Saturday to pick up his car so they can drive it back and sell it. I knew the battery had died, so I went out to jump it (after many frustrating attempts to get close enough so the cord would reach) in 6 degree weather, snowing, in my pj's. I start it, it runs for awhile, I turn it off and try to restart, nope.

I walk inside the house frustrated, and five minutes later, I look out the window and see steam billowing from the hood of the Jeep. My neighbor walks over and says "It's the radiator, see the big pool of liquid underneath the car?" I say, "As long as it doesn't explode". I went inside and IM'ed Big Guy "Would it be okay if we took a rocket launcher to the Jeep?" He was less than thrilled.

So car..... yeah, it's sitting in the driveway just the way I left it this morning.

And thirdly, we are moving. Not that that is a bad thing, I had expected Big Guy to get orders soon. I guess I was expecting someplace other than Texas, Ft. Hood. We've already been there, spent three years there, and it wasn't my favorite place to live.

It's not like we have a choice, but as of right now, I am not happy about this move. I'm fighting God on this one (I'll loose, I know) but this is not where I wanted to move.

I guess tomorrow Big Guy will find out dates of when we are moving, I'm expecting it sometime this summer. And I had a trip planned in june or july to Germany to Visit Dragon Fly, and what do you bet that this move will mess up those plans.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Culturally Different

I spent yesterday in Shipshewana IN at a hotel/in-door water park Splash Universe. Shipshewana is located in a predominately Amish/Mennonite area, so much so the restaurant located in the hotel is run by the Blue Gate Inn located in town and employes local Amish.

As I was in the water park, near the front just sitting holding Little Man, I noticed three ladies at the glass watching the crowd. And I stared back, watching them. All three I assumed worked at the restaurant, wore plain colored dresses, hair pulled up into a bun covered with a white hat and black socks and shoes. I wondered what must they think of us? All these young women wearing next to nothing bathing suites, walking around in the close proximity of men. We must all be heathens.

It is such a difference of culture, that I really never take notice of. Every so often I will people watch and see what people wear, are they conservatively dressed? And there is the every so often, What were they thinking, person. But I always wonder about other households, did their parents really let them outside the house in that?

And so we just stared at each other through the glass, both of us religious (I assume), both young women, possibly married with children, yet so vastly different.

And here's a picture of drunken Han Solo, he's passed out on the floor. Dragonfly, I don't have any of Leia, I didn't take as many as I would have liked. But enjoy.

Crazy Daughter getting off the slide, She LOVED the water park.
Little Man, not so fond of all the noise or water, this is one of the rare moments he was not clutching me.