Mission Monday - So you want to know how to give kids a bath...

How to give kids a bath: A Mission Monday

1. “Who wants a bath?” Watch the kids run screaming down the hallway towards the bathroom to see who can get their clothes off the fastest.

2. Run the water, don’t get it too hot or too cold, and add the bubble stuff. What would a bath be without the bubble stuff? Don’t forget to turn the water off, don’t want it too full.

3. Finish undressing Little Man and make Crazy Daughter go potty. Put the kids into the tub and empty the toys from the mesh turtle toy holder.

4. Listen to the squeals of laughter as they play with cups making waterfalls, and crowns of bubbles on their heads.

5. Gather towels, washcloths, brushes and combs, and clothes to change the kids into. Don’t forget underwear and diaper. Place a large blanket in the living room; make sure the couch is clear of clutter for Crazy daughter to wait her turn. Place clothes and brushes nearby to get the kids dressed.

6. Head into the bathroom to wash. Lather the washcloth with soap and start with Little Man, grab his feet and legs, then wash his hands and chest. Make him stand up to get the rest of him. Do the same for Crazy Daughter.

7. Wash hair, lay Little Man down to get hair wet. Listen to his screams of torment as you wet his hair. Lather with shampoo, again listen to his protests, and lay back down to rinse, you would think I am torturing this little guy.

8. Little Man will cry “eyes, eyes” use a hand towel to wipe off his eyes and as Crazy Daughter follows suit, wipe off her eyes.

9. Have Crazy Daughter lay down to get her hair wet, Listen to her cries of pleasure. Sit her up and have the hand towel ready to wipe off “eyes mama, eyes”.

10. Lather with shampoo, use liberally as she has thick and LONG hair, be sure to scrub every inch of hair and scalp. Lay her down to rinse, wipe off eyes again.

11. Time for conditioner; use a fair amount to fend off the tangles that will inevitably come about. Leave in for as long as she will sit there, which isn’t long, rinse.

12. Have Crazy Daughter pull the stopper on the tub, and have the kids pass the toys to be put away in the green mesh turtle.

13. Crazy Daughter is first, get her out of the tub, towel dry hair and wrap towel around body, pick up (this child is heavy) and carry to the living room couch. Listen to screams of abandonment from Little Man, hurry back to him. Get Little Man out of the tub, carry into the living room.

14. Dry off Little Man, he’s shaking but is fighting getting dressed. Puts him arms up in the air and says something to the effect “I’m naked”. Wrestle his clothes on and comb his hair.

15. Drag Crazy Daughter off the couch; pry the towel away from her. Watch her shake and do the “I’m Naked” scream. Dress and then….. Hair

16. For the next five minutes listen to screams of torment, watch real tears roll down her face, while you brush her hair. Wonder for the billionth time “what do you get in your hair?” and anticipate in less than a month the moment of getting her hair cut.

17. Kids are now dressed, clean and watching Where are You Scooby Doo. Head into the bathroom and survey the mess. Pick up the sopping wet bath man and run into the kitchen and into the washer. Head back and wipe the water off the floor.

18. Time to shower yourself, my pj’s are sopping wet and I’m tired from wrestling two kids in a bathtub.


Today's Monday Mission is to write a post in the form of directions. It's fun, try one yourself. You can do it.