I got a letter from the Commander about when to expect Big Guy to come home. The 6th of February will be one year from the day he left. It's hard to believe that a year has gone by without him.
So mid April is when I'm supposed to expect him, I haven't heard anything from our FRG (family readiness group) but I have up on expecting any real information long ago. We'll get a call 24 to 48 hours ahead of when to expect them.
So I finish reading the letter and my stomach has that feeling, oh how to describe it, like I've just been given bad news. Now don't get me wrong, I do want to have him home, the kids miss him awfully bad.
But in his absence, we have a routein, we are comfortable with the way things are. Granted I get driven insane most days, but I know what to expect when the morning arrives. That will all change when he gets home.
Change, I hate change. You would think an army spouse would be used to change seeing as we've moved quite a bit. And the only constant thing in the army is change. But this time, him coming home is more difficult than the last one.
Now we will have to live together, and deal with the whole past year, two years of hurt and pain. When he left we didn't leave our marriage in the greatest of shape. Now we will come back together two really changed people, and really have to get to know each other once again. I guess the uncertainity of the future is scary, not knowing how our lives will turn out, is frightening.
But he's coming home and life will begin again.
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12 comments:
I can't imagaine, but I am thinking of you and hoping that things go the way you want/ need.
I actually think an army spouse would be sick of change and ready and waiting for that time when she can settle down and make sink in some roots. That's how I felt anyway, when we went from place to place for my hubby's career. I'm ready to build some community and never change residence again!
I hope you get this resolved quickly in a way that makes you happy!
You know I'm here for you, girl.
Always.
Sigh. It sounds like you have some hard work ahead of you. Wishing you the best.
Does the military provide counseling support for reunited families? I know this is a common scenario: you're in a routine, he wants to arrive home and step back in to his previous place in the family...
My cousin is on his way home as I type... after six months in Iraq... I imagine there will be some adjustments between he and his wife as well.
I've just gone through a move, a move that I desperately wanted, but the whole "change" thing has been tough.
Thank you and your husband and family for this sacrifice.
I am not in any way trying to say that my situation was the same as yours, not at all, but my husband was an airline pilot during the first years of our marriage and parenthood and the constant going from one extreme to the other (he was either gone for days and days on end, or just HOME all day long) was so tough. Really tough. I completely understand the "I feel I just got bad news" feeling, even though it is obviously good news. I'll hope for a smooth transition for all of you and hope that time together is just what you need.
That is so hard. Your honesty about the situation will hopefully help mend things quicker in the long run. Would you be able to find a way to have alone time??? Just the two of you for a couple of days to start the process of getting to know each other again? So much can change in a year...I hope things will work out for the best!!!
This whole thing must be extremely difficult for you. I'm wishing you strength and hope that things will work out the way you want them to.
People don't realize that it's not only the time they're away that's hard...it's just as hard when they come back. My husband was gone for 15 months, and it was a huge adjustment. But we worked hard, and we got through it. I would definitely recommend some marriage counseling...it doesn't have to mean that things are bad...it just means there's some stuff that has to be worked out. I wish you the very best. (I'm a blog-friend of the dragonfly)
Hi Rose Daughter,
Sometimes change is good...and, of course, sometimes it isn't. I hope for the sake of you and your family, that this is a case where the time apart will prove to have been a good thing.
But I do know how hard it is to allow a parent in on parenting when you've been alone for a while. I have that problem even when my husband's away for a few days. Let alone a year. Especially if you didn't part on the best of terms.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that in a few months you will be able to look back on this transition as a good thing.
Heidi
PS Thanks for visiting my blog today, it is nice to 'meet' you.
You realize there will be challenges and that is half of it right there.....those that think it will all be romantic joy are in for a rude awakening, but those realists usually have a plan. Don't be shy about using military resources to ease your transition...consider it cashing in on some of your pay. We give a lot of ourselves and should take full advantage of the benefits the military has to offer.
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