Okay, so I haven't been on in awhile, being Christmas and all, family has taken up most of my time. I've been at my in-laws most of this week and unable to really use a computer, they have only dial up connection. And as an added bonus, my SIL was also spending the week there so we were able to spend time together. I figured this would be fun.
I was able to talk to Big Guy today for a bit, and apparently my SIL, we'll call her Ms Perfectionist, Perfect for short, had a bit to say about my parenting abilities. Apparently I never played with my kids, I tried to reason with them like they were teenagers, I really should get a job and help with money, and what was I doing reading a book on D&D (dungeons and dragons).
I had kind of a clue that she was upset with me, but she never outright said anything to me. And in my defense, as if I need one, It's not my house, I don't know where things are. And do I really need to spend every spare minute with my kids, with so many people in the house I figured no one would miss me for an hour or so while I listened to an audio book in the back room.
Why do I need you lecturing me about what I do or do not do? The more I live my life, the more I just truly understand that people just do not understand what we military spouses go through, on a daily basis or any other time of the year.
It really hurts me that she thinks these things of me, that I was judged so harshly by her. And I don't think sitting on the floor telling Little Man to come here so I can change his poopy, stinky, smelly diaper is me reasoning like he's a teenager.
Big Guy was upset with his sister, and I guess they had words. And I am proud of him for sticking up for me, I would have liked to have read that conversation.
But that's my family, for better or worse right? I am trying really hard not to just close down, and just never be open and honest with her again, that is what I would have done a couple of years ago. And despite putting on a front of having a tough exterior, I am quite thin skinned, and what she said hurts.
*Sigh* family, can't live with them, can't leave for home yet. What to do.....
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4 comments:
Oh man. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
You're right about people not understanding what it's like to be a military spouse. Deployments are a huge burden...but we just deal with them when they come along, because that's all we can do. We learn about who we are and what we can do when we're alone for long periods of time.
And I happen to know that, when you are home, you play with your kids. So do I. But when I was in the States I didn't feel at all bad about leaving the Little Mister in the care of my parents or my brother.
Okay, I'm rambling. If you want to talk, you know where I am.
I am sorry she was so mean. People never learn and continue to judge minute situations and not take in the whole picture. Take the higher road, ignore her comments and continue on as you always have.
In the meantime, know that you are a fabulous, largely single, mother who loves her children and husband more than this woman could even begin to imagine....
You really can't live without them can you? Can you? And it's much easier when they are your blood relatives cause you can just haul off and shout at them! The whole IL bit adds another level that causes more problems. Very cool of your husband to stand up for you.
ohh... that bites. and you SO deserve to take some time away from the kids when you can grab it. I cannot FATHOM what it is like to be home alone all the time with kids... and I would jump at the chance to help friend or family who was in that kind of a situation. Heck, that's one of my favorite parts about visiting family... getting to read in the middle of the day! :)
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